Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Seeking THAT Inner call !!!

These days my status line says – SEEKING THAT INNER CALL!!! and many people have reverted commenting that this is the most in-appropriate status line to have a week after getting married. Well, to this I frankly have no counter argument but as a matter of fact, this is the current state of my congenially random mind. My mind is once again at in a state of dismal entropy. Marrying Priyanka was one thing I had aligned my heart to 3 years back and now with the alliance materializing I have this lovely lady as my spouse, my life partner. Pretty neat, but what next. I got committed to her, got into this B-school, graduated with a decent job in hand and then roughed my edges at workplace. Now what? The life is again at a standstill. The kind of person I am, placidness is more cacophonous than a bugle.

Knowing Priyanka for all these years has convinced me that she is one person who epitomizes reason and sensibility. So that is something which is going to my strength. But then what is troubling me.

I think I somehow unconsciously know the answer. I think I knew it for long. Believe even Prabha sweetheart knows about it ‘coz she has been my confession box all the time...It’s the work I am into. Not that the work I am doing is anything like a compromise. Its a wonderful Job def as such but then as I had once communicated to my erstwhile Manager, I probably am not suited for banking. I am not able to motivate myself for doing great work. I am not able to render my 100 % to the profile. This phenomenon is troubling me a lot. The issue is not that why am I not switching, the issue is where do I wana’ head to. I am not able to locate my CALL. Till the time I get that CALL,I would be continuing with what I am doing in all my capacity and conviction. But the day I get to know of my CALL, that would be my last month with this company. Its’ a wonderful place to work but then that is not what I had dreamt to achieve in my Life. It would be something different. Something extraordinary. Something satisfying. It would be something borne out of my desire to excel. It would be an outcome of my Inner CALL ...