The Whirlpool; The Tree & The Roots !!!!

Life, of all the things is the strangest!!! When u want the world, it takes you to the road that leads to the acrimonious dead-end and when you desperately seek the end of all your thought-trails the road just keeps taking turns like a spiral across a mountain, scale of which has no end.

My life has been such a whirlpool in past few years. Whirlpool not because of any struggle I have been through but because like a whirlpool its center of leverage has been fixed while its surfacial edge roams freely, swallowing all the physical/metaphysical objects in the vicinity. This helps the whirl grow in size, may be also grow in prospects but then since its stuck to one particular spot on the ground due to affinity it shares, it can just not move. Lets speak of a tree else should the whirlpool be making your head whirl. Like all trees, if I may call myself that, I have lots of love and compassion for my root which is far off from the spread of my broad branches and it is such an integral part of my existence that it is an exercise difficult to contemplate. A tree, however hard it tries, cannot slash down its own roots. You may have heard of Trishanku, the mythological king who hung between heaven & earth because his credits were so. A similar situation it leads to wherein the tree just stands suspended in the amoebic universe. Strange, tough and difficult however it is to push the heart just too far and too hard only to see that some of the tendons are still stuck which with every inch of movement away are conserving the potential energy. Now the options are just two.

One, just give that one last thrust and suspend itself fully, completely forever. The risk is that the conserved energy will propel it to undestined landscapes and it may realize that this is not what its life was meant to be. The other option is to let loose, freely. Easy and straight an option but worth rendering every bit of thought on repercussions that may get accrued. Repercussions due to the pull with which you will collapse back to the roots. The collapse may result into collateral damage to the tree or it may just become one big mass and travel in some random direction, generally in the direction of the pull.

Having said all of the above my current state of mind is much relaxed as compared to what it was till sometime back. Not that there is something significant that has happened in my life or that now I feel like a newly liberated dove. May be that is because I am back to Mumbai, the place where I always felt as an inmate in a prison but still calm at heart. Try putting yourself into shoes of a tree (for whatever it means!!!) which after several years of dependence and coexistence sees that it has to move to a different root altogether, a new city infact. Situation leaves it flummoxed, caught-in-between. But then you cant blame the root also, can u??? Did you match its expectation of being its tree for all your life? I hereby don't intend to portray that I am dependent on a thing moreso a city. It is just that there are places where you feel positive about things, life. Mumbai has always been one such place for me. This is one thought I have reiterated at all instances wherein there were comparisons drawn between Delhi & Mumbai. And with conviction indeed. May be it was this conviction that always intrigued my new branches, so much that they always wanted to be here, despite of having never been here. New branches did I mention???

It is imperative to understand that any tree gets it nutrition from the firmly placed roots. With years, while I was away, I have added a couple of more branches, couple of more leaves and with my entire entourage this time around I have landed back to this city of maxim pain and maxim relief. That my love, empathy, nutrition comes from these new additions and the root is something that needs to be affirmed and delved deep. Sounds illogical??? That it is but then since when love was a logical bet. Was it???

With that, I would like to tell my root and my new branches that my existence is null without them and whichever way plausible, they got to keep giving nourishment to me. Some love-rich words, some warm hugs, lots of illogical questions and undeterring confidence. That’s all!!!

Hoping for the high fly!!!

Back to the roots!!! Back to the warmth!!!

होठों से हँसते होंगे देव वो आँखों से मुस्काती है ...

चंद अनकहे लफ्जों में कहकर, या लम्बे अल्फाजों में छुपकर,
चार कदम यूं पीछे हटकर, कुछ लम्बी साँसों में बसकर,
वो बंद नयनों की सुप्त छाँव में,
सुप्रभात सी मीठी अंगडाई ले अलसाती है,
होठों से हँसते होंगे देव,वो आँखों से मुस्काती है ...

बात बात पर होंठ दबाकर, बिन -बात मुझको धमकाकर,
कड़ी धूप से आँख मिलाकर, या मंद छाँव में  भी सकुचा कर,
छोटी-छोटी अठखेली से,
मुझको स्तब्ध कर जाती है ...
होठों से हँसते होंगे देव वो आँखों से मुस्काती है ...

बस मस्तक की रेखा का खेल है सारा,
कभी इक पल को मानुष तरसे कभी जग है तुम्हारा,
मुस्काकर हाथ फिर हौले से माथे पर रख ,
वो जैसे हर वासुकी-चिन्ह को मिटाती है,
होठों से हँसते होंगे देव वो आँखों से मुस्काती है ...

My Bubbles, My Falls !!!

I fail to understand what went into my configuration when the assembly was being carried out somewhere up there. Too many parts to deliberate, even more parts to execute the deliberation but somehow 'will' is not auto-attributed to every deliberated execution that I plan. No, for His sake don’t mix it with lack of will as that equals inertia (read lethargy) which is an altogether different stratum. I intend to portray my will as a selective one. It chooses its own gasp of glory and until then lies aloft, silently.

If you are still reading this then you must be the intended recipient of this post else as I just now realised, if left to me, I would have had left it after first 5 words. Anyways, the context here was my enviable consistency in being so indisciplined when it comes to writing Blogs. Thanks for the adulation for above statement but I would rather love to be writing and posting if not much then atleast as frequent as the number of useful business conf calls you do in a month. Hope that settles it for now. Any further argument may have to be validated against proofs.

Switch! Back to Mumbai after appx 4 years. It was something that was bound to occur, irrespective of how I was planning for or against it. It’s a city I love & despise the most in this whole damn world and I cannot explain either ways so please leave it as stated. Having said that, this city is undoubtedly the one that makes me learn the value of relationships; by demonstrating an absolute individual characteristics and persona.

'Individuals multiplied' is what I'd term it to be. It’s a place that makes you feel free, as if I you are liable as well as empowered to drive my own destiny; and on the other hand it challenges your character buildup and thinking to the extremes, like nothing else. Believe that’s precisely why I like it so much. It’s one’s own shell-city wherein he can stay in a bubble but at times allow this bubble to merge with another passing bubble and after a conversation/association comfortable to buoyancy of both, automatically detach himself in search of another passing bubble.

Next time if you happen to meet the known bubble, you may recollect the fun you had, again attach for a while and then again invariably detach and waive off. Having said that, it’s a choice, yet again of the bubble to stay a bubble that ways all his life or form a droplet with the adjacent bubble and descend to ground. Choice again as I said!!!

Now that I am here, I can again see the Maxim city in above light. There are two specific sets of bubbles that intrigue me the most or you may read as those to whom I can directly relate to. They also apparently are intertwined. One sort is one big random bubble which floats freely, damn cares but still is concerned huge lot about those bubbles that chose to find affinity with it. Such sub-bubbles were also those who stick with the master bubble proactively and help it not descend by not turning it into a droplet. This they achieve by maintaining distant proximity so that affinity is not lost and submerge also doesn’t happen. This is an arrangement most convenient for most free floating bubbles. The pre-condition again is that the master bubble got to be immensely concerned about well being of associated bubbles. If that’s not there then compulsive detachment of forced submerge happens which takes it down anyways. Not a condition any bubble would prefer to solicit.

There is another set of bubble which is nice but dangerous. This is typically found in the cases wherein the sub-bubble and primary bubble get attached to each other through affinity that is indefinable by any relative logic. It’s kind of an attraction that is hard to shrug off but even more difficult to sustain. If you try to shrug it off, then you may also feel like losing some of your own elements in the process which is painful. However if you choose to let it stay, it rules over all the subjects of mind and matter, thus rendering irrationality of thoughts and streaks. This is a dangerous standpoint and should be catered to in a manner which is considerate as well as judicious. However it seldom does happen this way and ends up either bursting the prime-bubble due to surface tension or disfigurement of sub-bubble due to extra affinity. Loss is mutual but goes heavy against love & tenderness. Caution is the word !!!

Having said that, got to remember that whether as bubble or as droplets, the agenda is to ensure that all the participant bubbles stay safe from infections that may creep in from external agents and disturbances. There are enough infections around but so is the propensity to Love. What needs to be ensured is that bubbles don't run out of love as till the time love is there, sustenance will not be a challenge. A bit of affection, an assurance of proximity and life will trail smoothly.

In the above I have tried my level best to complicate the most simple of the matters however guess that’s how all of us live our lives. They say complications ruin lives; I say they don’t ruin lives. Complications just give directions to your otherwise monotonous, unidirectional (read un-directional) lives. We just need to ensure that we are Cognizant of our bubbles and our falls.