Sunday, March 30, 2008

Decay !!!

All my life I have been a person who would nurture relationships like an early morning pleasant dream and would value them more than even the religion I follow. This was something I have been following through thick and thin, amidst weathers rough and fine. I had this element of being unsure about friendship, but the conviction was built gradually during my HBTI Days. It was further reinforced while at SIMSR that some relations matter more than the consanguine ones .It all was there with me...in me…all the time…

Today I really am not sure what has happened to me. I know what all is amiss but really unsure what could be the root cause. I really am not sure of the reason why I am not able to be true to myself. I am not sure why I am failing miserably in every kind of relationship, be it at home or elsewhere. I am baffled as in what is it that needs to be weeded out of my character. And if there is some poisonous creeper that has clanged onto my thought process, where did it come from. At what point of time I became so vulnerable to influence of negative thoughts. Why have I become a heartless soul? Why am I not able to be proud of my own self? Why am I, what I am?

No, I don’t think I am being vague and stupid when I am saying this all. I know what I was and what I have become. I am aware of this decay and I am still damn disinterested in getting remedied. I am standing at a juncture wherein most of the relations I value in this world are looking back at me with skewed eyes. With their disappointed looks all these guys are again and again driving home a point that I am no longer the person whom they loved once. I am a totally different person…I am an authoritarian…an egoist…a selfish person. I have become a no-lover. Suddenly.

Never have I been so confused. Not even during that forgettable day of April. Up there! One last time please. At least you know that I am not a "No-lover" atleast.That,although I am being bad to all, from inside I crave for them.That,however discordant my note be, my heart sings only well-wishes for them. I still love them all...I always will…

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Oh There !

Just a random thought!

When you think that you are not able to stand up to a relationship, be it any, you should just put it aside and move on.Move on not 'coz you are scared to continue but 'coz it will keep your loved ones happier and free from your selfishness. Its’ more important to think long term when it comes to Relationships. I as an individual have no right to disrupt other person's life just 'coz its hard for me to live without this bid. Over possessiveness is like a double edged sword. You might be thinking that its’ shielding your relationships but it would actually be snipping off the ties. If you can’t carry your stakes well, chuck it. Life and Love are much much beyond every other damn rationale. And love, if present, will keep hearts together.

Kaushik, you always told me that I need to be a bit more flexible.I gave it a shot.I think it is not working for me yaar.I am not liking what I have become. It has made me weak.It has made me vulnerable.I want to be the same old Mocho; Rigid, Strong; Determined and Passionate. I again want to re-discover myself. I want to rewind back to what I was during HBTI days.

Oh there! Render me strength…One last time.

Monday, March 03, 2008

दुष्यंत कुमार !!!

होने लगी है जिस्म में जुम्बिश तो देखिये ।
इस परकटे परिंदे की कोशिश तो देखिये ॥

गूंगे निकल पड़े हैं,जुबान की तलाश में ।
सरकार के खिलाफ ये साजिश तो देखिये ॥

बरसात आ गई तो दरकने लगी ज़मीन ।
सूखा मचा रही ये बारिश तो देखिये ॥

उनकी अपील है की उन्हें हम मदद करें ।
चाकू की पसलियों से गुजारिश तो देखिये ॥

जिसने नज़र उठाई वही शख्स गम हुआ ।
इस जिस्म के तिलस्म की बंदिश तो देखिये ॥

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कहीं पे धूप की चादर बिछाकर बैठ गए,
कहीं पे शाम सिरहाने लगाके बैठ गए

जले जो रेत में तलुवे तो हमने ये देखा,
बहुत से लोग वहीं छ्टपटाके बैठ गए

खड़े हुए थे अलावों की आंच लेने को,
सब अपनी-अपनी हथेली जलाके बैठ गए

दुकानदार तो मेले में लुट गए यारो,
तमाशबीन दुकाने लगाके बैठ गए

लहू-लुहान नज़रों का ज़िक्र आया तो,
शरीफ लोग उठे दूर जाके बैठ गए

ये सोचकर की दरख्तों में छाँव होती है,
यहाँ बबूल के साये में आके बैठ
गए॥

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Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Seeking THAT Inner call !!!

These days my status line says – SEEKING THAT INNER CALL!!! and many people have reverted commenting that this is the most in-appropriate status line to have a week after getting married. Well, to this I frankly have no counter argument but as a matter of fact, this is the current state of my congenially random mind. My mind is once again at in a state of dismal entropy. Marrying Priyanka was one thing I had aligned my heart to 3 years back and now with the alliance materializing I have this lovely lady as my spouse, my life partner. Pretty neat, but what next. I got committed to her, got into this B-school, graduated with a decent job in hand and then roughed my edges at workplace. Now what? The life is again at a standstill. The kind of person I am, placidness is more cacophonous than a bugle.

Knowing Priyanka for all these years has convinced me that she is one person who epitomizes reason and sensibility. So that is something which is going to my strength. But then what is troubling me.

I think I somehow unconsciously know the answer. I think I knew it for long. Believe even Prabha sweetheart knows about it ‘coz she has been my confession box all the time...It’s the work I am into. Not that the work I am doing is anything like a compromise. Its a wonderful Job def as such but then as I had once communicated to my erstwhile Manager, I probably am not suited for banking. I am not able to motivate myself for doing great work. I am not able to render my 100 % to the profile. This phenomenon is troubling me a lot. The issue is not that why am I not switching, the issue is where do I wana’ head to. I am not able to locate my CALL. Till the time I get that CALL,I would be continuing with what I am doing in all my capacity and conviction. But the day I get to know of my CALL, that would be my last month with this company. Its’ a wonderful place to work but then that is not what I had dreamt to achieve in my Life. It would be something different. Something extraordinary. Something satisfying. It would be something borne out of my desire to excel. It would be an outcome of my Inner CALL ...

Saturday, January 05, 2008

Me and the THIRLD WORLD !!!

How often have you observed the generally ignored parallel world at Traffic Signals? Just think, as in, have you always been ignoring the very presence of jam-triggered activities around you or is it something you have educated yourself not to be bothered with. Have you inherently developed a feeling that one should not pay any damn heed to all such creatures including Calcluator wallahs, brush wallahs, cushion wallahs, flower wallahs, eunuchs and beggers. Has this feeling already got deeply engraved into your sub conscious as it has got into mine? Has it got something to do with the movies like TRAFFIC SIGNAL that such beliefs have been coherently structured and concreted?


I was just thinking over the same. For the past couple of weeks I have been driving a lot in my newly acquired SWIFT and such instances have unwarrantedly become a routine passé. No, I am not at all advocating the cause of this all different world. Just that somewhere at the back of my mind this has become a generalized cognition. My spontaneous reaction to any person approaching to me in such cases is a wave of hand as if to brush off even the sight. That day at R.K. Puram signal a girl barely 7 knocked at my car window, pleading to buy a bunch of roses and my instant reaction was just a wave of hand with a slight scowl. It was as if brushing off dust from my clothings. Almost that dead and inert.

I have comprehended that while driving I don’t realize such (mis) behavioral instincts but as soon as get back to home ,I find myself feeling troubled, many a times disturbed for being rude and more so indifferent, hostile and this reflects in my attitude. I mean, one she is a child with no brightly carved future in sight and then over and above that a blocked heap of mentality from us, the educated strata of the civilized world. A new world order is expected through us. Are we only gonna’ bring renaissance in modern India. Isn't it...Huh.. Rubbish.

Anyways, just was wondering if this phenomenon is happening with a congenially random soul like me only or if it is something that itches many others of my Gen. By phenomenon I don’t mean the inability to help such THIRD WORLD inhabitants, by it I mean the feeling of insensitivity that has creped into me stealthily.

The remark is open. So is discussion ‘coz I am not able to conclude it rationally. Anybody listening. Socrates huh!

P.S.- Normally any such down-surge of my psyche results into a Poem.So,just can go through one related to this post under this entry.

क्यों अलग मैं क्यों अलग वो॥

मेरा यौवन है अलग, क्यूंकि मैं वरदान था
एक शिक्षित एवं प्रतिष्ठित, कुल की मैं संतान था

प्राप्त कर सका जो भी चाहा,कुछ संबल कुछ ज्ञान से
माता पिता के आशीर्वाद से, पूर्वजों के संज्ञान से

पर क्या अशिक्षित कुल से होना,एक जिंदगी के लिए अभिशाप है
मेरी झोली मैं है खुशियाँ ,उसकी में संताप है।।

पूर्वजों के ह्रदय सुना है,निश्छल - निकपट होते हैं
फिर क्यों उसके और मेरे,यूं भाग्य अलग-अलग होते हैं

कैसे आएगी हे ईश क्रांति,इस विभाजित संसार में
घिसीपिटी सी आदमियत से,टूटे हुए हर परिवार में

मेरी क्रांति अब मुझसे शुरू है,और शायद मुझ में ही सब विकार है
इस रोगी भाग्य एवं जग से,अब शुरू मेरा प्रतिकार है

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Trade Fair and my 'State' of concern !

I have this one favorite one-liner that - DIN MAIN EK BAAR JABAAN PE SARASWATI VIRAJTI HAI AUR USA SAMAY JO BHI BOLO WO SACH HO JATA HA !!! I kept on pulling legs of scores of people for all these years but as some wise men have said, whatever you do in this world comes back as fate in this life only,I had the flavor of this the other day.

Here I was at IITF (India International Trade Fair) at Pragati Maidan, Delhi. Its a wonderful place to visit for a day long outing. There I was checking out all the pavilions when this close friend of mine suggested that we all should go and check UP's (Uttar Pradesh) hall, it being my state .I, a person who is totally in love with the idea of becoming a repartee expert, responded in the same breath by saying - "We only have political stunts and politicians to display. That is all we trade and expertise in."

Saying that, I entered the hall with a Nehruvian smile as if having delivered Tryst With Destiny. I was admiring my sense of timing when the gate through the corridor opened inside the halls. And lo! Here just before the first stall was a big hoarding saying - " CM Mayawati sitting with President Pratibha Patil". Then 10 feet enroute the Galleria was another even bigger poster saying - "CM Mayawati feeding polio drops to an infant". Just in front of the last stall was another poster saying "Behan Mayawati, UP ka bhavishya". After that I was too embarrassed to keep count. But there was no return from there because another specialty of UP is the crowd which is omnipresent. I just had to keep my feet moving. Directions and all were put in by the mass only. In all there were no less than 50 posters of Mayawati specifically and the ruling party in general. Now I simply could not make any sense out of it. Why do we allow events such as a TRADE FAIR to be used as a political podium? Why was there a need for the same? Why cant I tell with pride about my state to other people and why am I speechless when somebody asks me about specialties of my state. Why is it that when others specifically endorse their own states, I just say I am from North India and all that.

Am I amiss somewhere or is it a loss of character within my roots. Have I not inherited the pride that comes with one's place of birth? Or am I ashamed to discuss it ? I am not sure if I would be able to find the answers but one thing is for sure, its important to find them. It is important for me and for those who are not able to connect to their states.Ayodhya,Babri Masjid, Rampur Tiraha, Kanpur Riots, Meerut Riots, Gandhi Park, Make shift governments,Taj Corridor,Hawala Scams.Well.I wonder when did we last contributed to the society other than supplying it with hoardes of news bites and politicians.

Anyways, see, again I was about to say that it is none of my concern. It bloody damn is. That is the whole problem. It very much is my concern.It is my State after all.

Monday, November 12, 2007

Swift Saga & Uncertainties !!!

Finally, on the 23rd day of November,I got hold of the most beautiful machine ever engineered.With this I am done with the 8 year old vow of mine to learn driving for/from my car only.Just completed 800 odd kms on it and already feeling like another Schumacher in making...Zippiesss !!!!Life is indeed on a "SWIFT" mode.

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These days my G-talk status line says – “Of all the things in this world, I hate uncertainties the most!!!". I think that goes pretty well with me.Indeed, the kind of person I am, unpredictability is something which perturbs me like anything. Anyways, bringing focus onto the context, I have this strange tendency of getting connected to people at random. So here was this guy from Maruti with whom I was dealing regarding purchase of a new car. My first car. After all kind of deliberations and contemplations we zeroed down on SWIFT Petrol - VXI. The car is under a running booking of 8-10 weeks which is too long a period to acquire a car. But then this guy said he would arrange a car for me within 15 days. Intuitively I trusted this guy and booked the same with his agency. Now today its been precisely a month since I had made that naive gesture and am still not sure when I am gonna’ get hold of the damn Car. Adding to the woe is the fact that it would have had been auspicious to get the delivery during Diwali and now am way past it. This uncertainty of getting the whole thing postponed and not getting a definite reply from the dealer’s end has disturbed my planning entirely. Here I am traveling all the way to Delhi from Gurgaon, daily, using the wonderfully efficient and safe Delhi public transport (World-class huh!).Then I have to shift base to a new acco in Rohini by the end of this week.Everything is totally disoriented and disarrayed.

But anyways,here I am waiting for my “SWIFT’ (Ironical nah !) like a kid waits for his first cycle।

Intehaan ho gai, Intezaar ki !!!

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Early Morning Ode !

Its 0500 Hrs of a Sunday morning (Yawn!) and I am as wide awake as a cricket. What crap ! But don’t expect me to write something utterly sensible at such wee hours. I remember meeting up with a renowned Ornithologist way back in Feb 2004 .He then had specifically pointed out – “Mohit dude, I have been observing the behavior of Birds all my life and know a bit about them too .Trust me, you are not an early morning person for sure. Don’t invest your time and energy in getting up early in the morning to do something, just for the heck of it. Don’t make a fool of yourself. Sleep.”And those were magical words for me. I never ever felt guilty of not been able to wake up early in the morning like other guys who used to do that much to the fantasy cum frustration for many. I had attained Moksha !


But let us try to challenge the corollary. There is another memory linked to morning as well as winters, which is slowly enveloping Delhi in its frigid grip. This memory dates back to year 2000,even before that rendezvous with Sir Ornithologist, when I first got to enter HBTI. That was the period when like many other middle class guys, I had stepped out of my house for the first time, in order to search for the meaning of my life. That was when life was testing and demanding. It so happened that winters had already set in and temperatures had started defying agreeable scales.I was a bit unprepared in terms of arranging for blankets and all for use during night-times, which used to be terribly cold. My LG were supposed to get me money (No ATMs you see!) or a blanket and he somehow got a bit too tied up to visit. So here I was, a helpless soul with loads of attitude (read ego) sleeping in my room without a blanket with mercury steadily falling through the night.


It was around 0400 AM in the morning when I suddenly got up, not with a sensation of feeling cold but with a cuddly warm feeling around me. It was so very comfortable that my instincts prompted me to go back to sleep at once. But then I just forced myself to open my eyes, realizing presence of 2 sheets of thick blankets over me. Those were warm heavy blankets generally used by people who have night duties, like watchmen. I was all confused with this sudden discovery and started analyzing whose blanket could it be. Suddenly, as if I was shaken off with some thought, I jumped out of my bed and ran out of my room in the thick mist-draped verandah. It was damn cold that morning and I still remember the pinch that I could feel in my feet. I jumped down the stairs to reach a place where we had our security guard shelter. It was not even a shelter, just a place beneath the stair-well. And as I had sensed, there was our night guard trying to steal a wink, sitting in front of fire. He was dressed in his usual cotton uniform but of course with no blanket. That picture of him, shivering with folded legs and closed arms, fighting Kanpur winters without a blanket is still vivid in my mind, just for the intensity of instance. I don’t know if u would be able to appreciate how I felt that day for his gesture or what made him walk up to my room to check for my comfort (He had got a hint that I have yet not got my blanket from my LG). But one thing is for sure, I don’t see myself finding another person with such intensity to love an almost stranger. It is one of my fondest memories ever and probably the most lasting one too. Thanks Onkar Singh Kutchwaha ji. Thanks for that one moment of affection and love and thanks for teaching me some very fine lessons of life. We might not be able to come across in life again but my wishes will always be with you.

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

A break from Routine - My Offsite

Sometimes just a slight change in routine makes one feel so rejuvenated, so refreshed that the whole psyche gets affected in a very positive manner. Nah ! I am not saying that I am experiencing it right now. Just felt like penning it down for the heck of it.Anyways, I recently got back from this Global PCM Offsite which is an annual affair of its own kind. Its’ wonderful in the sense that we get to know people from all over the country with whom we communicate via mails and phones and that is how the whole relationship is defined. Such an occasion atleast brings together all the consanguine guys Pan India and facilitates informal interaction.


So here I attended this offsite at Agra. Yes! Yes! You heard it right. It is Agra only. The city of Tajmahal with all the wonderful things to see and relish. The place where weather is so chilled out that you will instantly start feeling romantic. The whole environment so very electric that you will feel like an agile proton which has blatantly refused to surrender to the laws of nature and thus has broken out of the captivity of its nucleus and is intermingling freely with neighborhood electrons.Fine,I am getting sarcastic. So what!


Anyways.I felt
like this only before leaving for Agra but surprisingly liked the whole event. I was there for 3 days and 2 nights and trust me; I danced for 12 hrs out of this and played cricked for 5 hours. Such a wonderful shift from office routine. Suddenly got to re-invent the child in me. The only disappointment was my nil contribution towards our performance in role play. I knew I could have crafted a better script but probably never felt like taking charge of it at any point of time. Mostly because it was all out of Delhi driven effort. But no regrets. I had great fun dancing to rock music and singing old songs after sucha' long time. Also,I made people dress up in Moughal attire and myself refrained from the same.To top up it all,our journey back was totally paisa vasool.

But strangely,it reminded me of Mumbai ! Strange !

Saturday, September 22, 2007

My wobbly tobbly weekend ! :-(

Sometimes I wonder about the insensible ingenuity of the person who conceptualized the idea of rendering to the society a fancifully magnificent mode of celebrating weekends. An endeavor par excellence (!) of keeping 2 days off without even realizing that it reduces week to actually 3-1/2 days (Tuesday to Friday afternoon) At least I come across this phenomenon every week at my workplace. It is a place where work actually snowballs but come the Friday and holiday mood takes toll over every other damn thing. As for Mondays, I know of my Monday blues atleast.Every Monday, I hate looking back at my weekend because as compared to Mumbai where I had so many things to do, here at Gurgaon,am just wasting my time over things as stupid as calling up driving schools/food-joints/multiplexes/gyms/travel-agents and what not. And even more stupid is the fact that it all boils down to no avail. I have been doing the same exercise for past 3 weeks and have come to no definite conclusion as in what I want and how will I get it.


Anyway as an individual with considerable understanding of human psyche (atleast mine) I have arrived at a conclusion that weekend offs are fundamentally inapt and should be discontinued asap. Instead there should be a concept of mid-week break. This way one can have an off on Sunday and lets say Wednesday. It in turn would entail high order of employee satisfaction and lower grievances of mounting work pressure. (What crap!)


However there are cons also because we Indians being social animals of the most typical sorts would want to have 2 offs together, but who cares.Also,although I am inhabitant of Democratic republic,my wonderfully matured opines seldom do get deserved appreciation and acceptance.So atleast for the heck of it, let me bask in the glory of my newest fancy. An idea of a better, useless, lethargic and laid back world. Amen!

Saturday, September 15, 2007

Sorry HINDI ! Happy Belated Hindi Diwas !


Just a thought!

We are very much sculpted into practice of celebrating Father's day, Mother’s Day,V-Day,Hug Day and even Rose Day.These are a few things which we have neither inherited not brought down from lineage. These are things which have unwarrantedly forced their ways into our lives, making relationships more like a calendar bound activity. I don’t want to propagate a view that such occasions should be altogether discarded. Just a thought as in what should/could be our priority.

Anyways,my sole intention was to put forward a view that today(September 14th) is a day which ideally should be important to all of us but unfortunately doesnt even finds space in either a newspaper column or for that matter,mindshare.September 14th is our "HINDI DIWAS".Celebration of spirit of Hindi as our National Language(not language of the state).Article 343 (1) had put down a timeline to escalate Hindi as a Language of State but it has been 58 years since that resolution.Not a regret,just a cerebral vibe.

As to show respect and maybe gratitude to what we actually inherited,let us atleast try to convince ourselves that Hindi is an epitome of our being in true spirits.Or maybe it is something which defines religion for many of us.

This entry intends to evoke a silent resolve to love and respect our heritages.Maybe those heritages which are indispensable.(Imagine your life without Hindi for a minute).Not a thing more not a thing less.

Apologies for writing this blog in ENGLISH,but then probably it aptly conveys that displaying 'respect' doesn't mean 'fanaticism'.

"हिंदी हैं हम वतन है,हिंदुस्तान हमारा"

Saturday, September 01, 2007

Noah at Work ! Striving hard to stay afloat.

Trust me, the most difficult part of writing a public entry is zeroing on what to jot down. I normally am decently spontaneous when it comes to scribbling, but when it comes to writing a blog,the right set of words simply stop flushing out from the whatever brains vents. Thank goodness, I am not very choosy about writing in ‘the only’ right words :-)

As I said, its difficult to decide over what to write, I thought will just pen down my thoughts over one prime question which am facing in every quarter these days. Being an MBA and then having joined a good Banking Corporation, the most common question I face is how am I finding my workplace and hence the work. Probably will talk about this only this time around.

The company I work for. Well, I should not hesitate in accepting that it feels wonderful working for a corporate which is still driven by its strong work-culture legacy. The environment as of now, is extremely professional and competitive. So are the people. But then should I try indenting a firm mental opinion in just 3 months of career association.

My work profile. Frankly speaking, quite broad. However, the role definition is decently carved and even the career graph seems well poised. The financial domain for which I work is called Global Payments and Cash Management and is a fundamentally growing sector. Other than it being a in-demand service, keeping in mind prospects of Post 2009 banking reforms, not many Cash Management Specialists are available in a still metamorphosing sub continental business environment. There is no dearth as such but as compared to other commercial banking fields, people are not handy. So can say that a good place to be in.

There is a backdrop to my take on the issue of whether if I like my role. When I look within myself and scratch accompanied historical evidence, I feel a bit out of place. Throwing a glance back to my academic career, I find a sense of revulsion to core finance. There were instances during my MBA when I wanted to escape the accounts related stuffs and get back to branding and market research. There were occurrences when I couldn’t tally my trial balance sheets after zillionth attempt and felt stupid when every other soul was as adept at it as I am at crapping. Those were the times when I wanted all the finance related stuff to go out of the windows, and be taken over by more interesting subjects like Operations. Marketing, Systems or even HR (Yah Yah, this is not a typing error, its HR only huh!). Later on I just held on to the anchor with a compromise that will try my level best to pass in the exams and then will put a brave face to nightmares of flunking in the same. And I did that only for full term 2 years of my tenure as Masters :-) Who says MBA makes you learn a lot of things. It just makes you learn how to make way out of Chakravyuhas without actually learning in principle how to do it.

So when this banking company came to the campus for recruitment, I had a full 30 min debate within my own self as in whether I wana’ opt for something which I might no like and eventually quit. Whether its’ worth taking a chance and that too such a critical one. But there is one thing that I have learnt from whatever I have faced in life. Every damn thing that makes you cringe out of fear and despair is definitely worth giving a full fledged and convinced shot. If it fails then you might end up getting disappointed but at least then will have some kind of satisfaction of not yielding to temptations of easy route. So here I am, trying to learn whatever I can about Cash Management. Learning how the various segments of working capital cycle management can work for corporates and banks alike; learning how simple CMS solutions can help corporates grow and dream big; learning the knitty gritties of IPO/Dividend business. Candidly, I still am not very comfortable with the basics of how the whole business works and probably my confidence at work is still not at its full helm, which is very much unlike me. This is putting back oodles of pressure back on me but the only thing that is keeping me in saddle is a strong will to get over the scare phenomenon. To just be myself ‘coz that is when I am at my best. And if am not mistaken that is when I actually leave back my footprints which has always been my unconscious aim.

I don’t want to leave an impression here that I am not enjoying my work. Courtesy guidance by some of the finest professional I have ever met, I am sailing off pretty fine. The whole prerogative is to establish that its’ not a smooth sail for me. Its a not an easy journey ahead for sure but I don’t mind traveling as long as there is a challenge underneath and a threat that fate will lead me into retreat. Let’s see, it is an open war!

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

सरफ़रोशी की तमन्ना अब हमारे दिल में है !!!

सरफ़रोशी की तमन्ना अब हमारे दिल में है।
देखना है ज़ोर कितना बाज़ुए कातिल में है।।

करता नहीं क्यूँ दूसरा कुछ बातचीत,
देखता हूँ मैं जिसे वो चुप तेरी महफ़िल में है।
ए शहीद-ए-मुल्क-ओ-मिल्लत मैं तेरे ऊपर निसार,
अब तेरी हिम्मत का चरचा गैर की महफ़िल में है।
सरफ़रोशी की तमन्ना अब हमारे दिल में है॥

वक्त आने दे बता देंगे तुझे ए आसमान,
हम अभी से क्या बतायें क्या हमारे दिल में है।
सरफ़रोशी की तमन्ना अब हमारे दिल में है॥

खींच कर लायी है सब को कत्ल होने की उम्मीद,
आशिकों का आज जमघट कूच-ए-कातिल में है।
सरफ़रोशी की तमन्ना अब हमारे दिल में है॥

है लिये हथियार दुशमन ताक में बैठा उधर,
और हम तैय्यार हैं सीना लिये अपना इधर।
खून से खेलेंगे होली गर वतन मुश्किल में है,
सरफ़रोशी की तमन्ना अब हमारे दिल में है॥

हाथ जिन में हो जुनून कटते नही तलवार से,
सर जो उठ जाते हैं वो झुकते नहीं ललकार से।
और भड़केगा जो शोला-सा हमारे दिल में है,
सरफ़रोशी की तमन्ना अब हमारे दिल में है॥

हम तो घर से निकले ही थे बाँधकर सर पे कफ़न,
जान हथेली पर लिये लो बढ चले हैं ये कदम।
जिन्दगी तो अपनी मेहमान मौत की महफ़िल में है,
सरफ़रोशी की तमन्ना अब हमारे दिल में है॥

यूँ खड़ा मौकतल में कातिल कह रहा है बार-बार,
क्या तमन्ना-ए-शहादत भी किसी के दिल में है।
दिल में तूफ़ानों की टोली और नसों में इन्कलाब,
होश दुश्मन के उड़ा देंगे हमें रोको ना आज
दूर रह पाये जो हमसे दम कहाँ मंज़िल में है,
सरफ़रोशी की तमन्ना अब हमारे दिल में है॥

वो जिस्म भी क्या जिस्म है जिसमें ना हो खून-ए-जुनून।
तूफ़ानों से क्या लड़े जो कश्ती-ए-साहिल में है।
सरफ़रोशी की तमन्ना अब हमारे दिल में है॥
देखना है ज़ोर कितना बाज़ुए कातिल में है॥

वंदेमातरम

Sunday, August 05, 2007

बिखरती लेखनी

शायद Blogging करने का ख़्याल दिल मे आये हुए 1 वर्ष से कुछ ही अधिक हुआ होगा पर इतना अच्छा तोहफा इस friendship day पर मिलने की स्वप्निल उम्मीद कभी नहीं की थी.हिंदी मे Blog करना,सोचने मॆं ही इतना अच्छा ख़्याल था की आज जब खुद अपनी उँगलियों के स्पर्श से देवनागरी के शब्द उभरते देख रहा हूँ तो लग रहा है कि कहीं नयी कोंपल खिल रही है . शायद उत्साह की ,या शायद उन बीते लम्हों कि जब हिंदी मुझसे इतनी अभिन्न थी जितनी की आज अंगरेजी शायद ये ही वो प्रेरणा हो जिसे महसूस तो कर पा रहा था पर समझ नहीं पा रहा था.समय सारी इन्द्रियों को कमजोर कर देता है


सच बोलूँ तो आज लिखने कुछ और ही आया था पर प्रतीत होता है कि अब अवसर की चाह कुछ और ही है.पिछले कुछ समय से व्यथित तो नहीं पर सोच मॆं अवश्य हूँ.सोच इस बात की की आज इस नए युग की भोर मॆं हम कहीं कुछ अधिक रफ़्तार तो नहीं थामे हैं.कहीं ऐसा तो नहीं कि भौतिकतावाद हम पर हावी हो गया है.या कहीँ ऐसा तो नहीं की शायद कालचक्र फिर वहीं घूम के गया है जहाँ 100 साल पहले था.आज से 100 साल पहले के भारत मॆं भी कथाचित यही होड़ लगी थी कि किस तरह पश्चिमी सभ्यता का अनुकरण किया जाये .लोग अपनी संतानों को दूर विदेश भेजते थे, ये सोच के की देश मॆं तो कुछ है नहीं करने के लिए,तो क्यों ना किसी और देश की ही सेवा की जाये.इस कारण जाने कितने ही सस्ते बौद्धिक मजदूर विदेश निर्यात किये गए.हमारे इन सस्ते मजदूरों की क्षमताओं का पूर्ण रुप से दोहन किया पश्चिम ने और कहीँ आगे निकल गया औधोगिक क्रांती के जरिये.और हम 90 साल तक झोली फैलाये खडे रहे कि कभी अमरीका नहीं तो कभी यूरोप कुछ दान दे तो हम बाक़ी के बच्चो को पढाये .अब भारत का स्वरूप बदल रहा है तो इसलिये नहीं कि हमारे बुद्धिजीवी वापिस गए हैं.आज भी वो दुसरे देशों मॆं हैं और वहाँ की सेवा कर रहे है.मुझे इनकार नहीं इस सिद्धांत से कि हर किसी को अपने भविष्य को चुनने का हक है.मुझे इनकार है बस इस अवधारणा से कि हमारा भविष्य देश के भविष्य से प्रथक हो,अलग हो


अब बात चली ही तो उन लोगो कि भी बात कर लेते है तो हिंदी को अपनी मातृभाषा कहने मॆं कतराते तो नहीं है पर उसमे 4 पंक्तियां भी सही व्याकरण से नहीं लिख सकते.हिंदी आज भी हमारी राष्ट्रभाषा का दर्जा अगर नहीं पा सकी है तो सिर्फ इन जैसे लोगों के कारण जो इसे सारी जिंदगी निम्न तबके की भाषा या UP के भैया की भाषा समझते हैं.उन्हें अपने बच्चो को अंग्रेजी मॆं hello बोलते देखना तो अच्छा लगता है पर हाथ जोड़ कर नमस्ते बोलना नही सुहाता .मै संस्कारों कि बात नहीं करता.संस्कार हर किसी कि खुद के होते है.मॆं सिर्फ आचार की बात कर रहा हूँ.न्यूनतम आचार जो की हम भारतवासी होने के कारण गर्व से धारण कर सकते हैं.मातृभाषा का मतलब सिर्फ माता कि भाषा होना ही नहीं होता.इसका मतलब होता है वो भाषा,वो वचन जो आपके दिल मॆं हो.ऐसी भाषा जिसे आप खुद के दिल के इतने करीब महसूस करें जितना अपनी माँ को करते हैं


मै कदापि नहीं चाहता कि मेरी लेखनी किसी को भी प्रेरित करे या उकसाये.मकसद सिर्फ इतना है कि जो पीर मैं महसूस करता हूँ अपनी भाषा के निरादर को लेके,उसके मूल को समझा जा सके

मेरा मकसद ये नहीं कि क्रांती हो यलगार हो,
मेरा मकसद ये नहीं कि नर मुंड की बौछार हो,
नहीं चाहता हूँ की मेरे धर्मं का कोई अनुसार करे,
नहीं माँगता कि मेरी लेखनी का प्रसार करे,
चाहता हूँ कि हर दिल के अन्दर गूँज उतनी चाहिऐ
मेरे दिल की बात तेरे दिल तक पहुँचनी चाहिऐ।।
मेरे दिल कि बात तेरे दिल तक पहुँचनी चाहिऐ।।

- मनु