A tale of umpteen states (of a kaleidoscope called India !!!)

Since nothing per-se is oozing out from the vents of my semi-dysfunctional neurological HEAD-set, posting a recent discussion on Face Book profile. It had that ol’ sense of intellectual brainstorming and repercussion analysis, so quite liked it[For first time readers,when I say ol' and am happy about it,please take it to be of HBTI era ;-) ] ... Random but worth reading.

Background: Center’s admission to demands of a separate state down South. Obviously other politicos to follow!!!

Characters (some of them!) – Anand Sahu (HSBC), Vikash Sinha, Nikhil Anand, Nitin Srivastava,(HBTI Kanpur) and Yours Truly !

Mohit Chauhan Telangana fallout: Maya wants UP into 3...Jaswant for Gorkhaland...Me for Chauhanangana !!! Very soon India which is everybody's 1 democracy will become 1 democracy for each one of us !!!

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Anand Sahu: Kam se kam koi reservation nahi hoga na koi minority hogi ‘coz everybody would be running his own demo. Some great person has said – ‘Democracy is the worst form of governance..in democracy you don’t get what you elect but you get what you deserve’..If Gandhi had a right to endorse the partition, rest everybody is forbidden. So just enjoy world’s biggest Democracy..

Mohit Chauhan : I couldn’t agree more Anand san !!! Waise bhi we Indians are known to be good learners..and we learnt damn well when British taught us Divide and Rule..We love it still !!!

Anand Sahu : Mohit with all due respect to your thought and wishes which would be mine too, would like you to get placed your facts correct. There is a difference between the governance policy and phrases passed to generations. Post Asoka it was only East India company which governed the biggest piece of this sub continent under one flag. even greater than Chandragupta Maurya II and Akbar. post that I have only seen divisions and divisions. pls let me know any reunions in this land. we guys definitely love to get divided and be ruled and ruled by others.. Are leaders are truly good learners. They know very well if you can’t have the entire pie of state in your mouth, then bite it into pieces. Result few more Swiss account holders like Siren and Kodas.

Mohit Chauhan : Absolutely agree with you Anand San !!! That’s what I meant when I said we are good learners. Any great ruler who ruled over any part of the world always thought of one unified world, whether it is Napoleon,Alexander,Chandragupta - II,Babur,Akbar or whoever ‘Coz they always knew that the administration works the best that ways, resources to distribute simply..But now it all is just done with coz as u rightly said, our politicos just know that pie is what they can best manage/plunder and harassedly exploit coz they just simply cant be role leaders..Period !!! EIC just knew how to place bets right and then they had patience..Loads of it..nobody waits for 150 years to invest in future resources. It did.

Nikhil Anand : As per my understanding and opinion this kind of disintegration is not necessarily bad. Like take example of Uttaranchal, ppl there were furious over many years before the evolution of new state. The economic contribution of Uttaranchal (Hyd. Elec. Pow. & tourism) in UP was a handsome chunk and they were getting peanuts in return for development. Same may have been the case with Telangana. This was the reason of their anger and it happens when ppl are ignored and polarized development occurs. Now u can see the amazing industrial growth thus employment and per capita income there. What happens with a business organization when it grows in market? U need to increase manpower, even in HR. Similarly if the govt. administration unable to match the work demand caused by growth and development, it needs to expand or increase its efficiency. We all know latter can't increase as all intellects including me (may be overrated) sit outside. So there are positive things also associated with the division. But it should be done in peaceful manner. Not on the roads burning the buses, damaging public property.

Nitin Srivastava : Thanks to Mohit for giving a brilliant idea for a new Dil Se cartoon. have a look at it - www.dilsecartoons.com . I don't completely disagree with Nikhil. I have seen Uttaranchal before the division and after the division..there is a BIG difference. BUT that positive difference was short lived..people are now again agitating..now the Paharis and Tarai people are fighting for power in the state. The state Govt. has done just 5% of what was expected to be done in terms of Tourism, Hydel Elect production and development in remote areas. Even if you go to past Mussourie and Dhanaulti..you will find few villages which are still waiting for proper electricity connections and availability. A state which has maximum potential to generate Hydel Electricity if cannot distribute and provide it to its people, how in this world they are going to sell it and earn money. Divisions have good impact only if people who are going to govern those smaller chunks are ready to focus on the growth and development. BUT the problem is these vampires are there to suck the blood of the masses and do nothing else. As far as Telangana is concerned, I would say, this division was inevitable. I remember when I was in Hyderabad and we planned a trip to Vizag. The villages we passed through in between have no infrastructure support, Govt is happy just to show off Hyderabad on world map. The number of naxalites in AP is so high because of this attitude of Govt. Why does not anything like burning Govt vehicles, jamming streets happen in US-because everyone is busy and working. Govt provides them employment opportunities. The data released every month about number of ppl unemployed is 5lac or less in US and what our Govt does; they simply target to create 1 lac jobs in next 2 years. These bunches of shits don't even target something higher.

Vikash Kumar Sinha : Indians need to unite, take lesson from Europe. After having separate countries, now they are trying to forge European Union where free movement of people is not only helping businesses but also the life of common people in the associated countries. Euro is valued better than US dollar and is considered to be a safe currency. The only thing India needs is unification and by pushing differences of religion, region or caste will push the country on the backward path. People should understand that the bloody politicians are playing with the emotions of the common man to serve their own bloody means. The philosophy of MNS and the politics played on dividing states both are having the same motive of dividing people and gaining power. Wake up India and wake up Indians. I do not justify any reason for division of states. the MPLAD fund and MLA funds have millions of rupees. why the hell the people are not voting for the right person who utilizes these funds properly. I have heard planning commission head Montek Singh Ahluwalia accepting on national television that the situation has improved from Rajiv Gandhi’s time and now, around 50 paisa is utilized properly for every rupee sanctioned by the government and he was proud of it--- It simply means that the budgeting of the government for development plans do not reach the ground level. I have heard backward politics played by politicians with respect to education policy. BJP governments in many states want the local language to be promoted by having medium of instruction in local language for primary education. Come on, the kid of every filthy rich politician in India goes to English medium schools and when it comes to higher education poor people specially studying in their local language find it tough. Society and culture do change with times. India of Humayun Kabir is a land of fusion of cultures. it has been there for centuries and by studying in English medium we do not stop believing in India or Indians or local language or culture.. the politicians want the high status not only for them but for their kids as well, they are deluding us..we should not trap ourselves in their mean designs. China is far ahead of India in building infrastructure because of its centralized system.. why can´t people in India get it done by centralized government bodies. the Cauvery water row, the power selling problems within states.. come on. India needs a centralized infrastructure building.. the state governments fight and it is the people who loose in the end

Anand Sahu : Vikash very true..this shows why at a time they governed the world for 300 years..and now even..they dominate ( US and Australia is populated at coasts only and done mainly by britishers)..Nitin / Nikhil..I don’t blame you..all would request to revisit the basic of admin , micro and macro eco. The basics are always same. Small units are always good for big projects but to be controlled by one leader. Here what you talk about is something else. The only parted state did some good for short term was due to natural source / resources available there. Post getting it drained them are back to square one. There is nothing great they did on admin and leadership.

Mohit Chauhan : Hey !!! I think the discussion is going in a very positive direction..I think every country is different so is the socio economic paradigm it works in..India unfortunately is a melting pot of ideologies if not culture alone..And that’s the issue. Ideologies bring along ego and inapt notions about oneself..That’s happening here too. I agree a bit with Nikhil when he says about better management but then at what cost..My home, even if better managed in nuclear fashion, would certainly be much better off for my next generation if everybody is together..Maybe I am wrong but that my hypothesis.. And ofc,great stuff again Nitin !

Anand Sahu : Yes Nitin has done excellent job..nice site too..Mohit you are absolutley correct. also even if you do well today does'nt means you should get parted from your brother and family who would not be doing as good as you "Today" just to ensure a better luxury in terms of increased family disposal income. What about the growth for tomorrow and social security a macro level. How far the next generation will sustain.

Vikash Kumar Sinha : I couldn´t agree more to Anand and Mohit.. I have the same vision of shared future for Indians as Mohit talks of in his last sentence. I hope despite these differences of culture and ideologies, we all Indians will work together with honesty, enthusiasm and optimism to achieve this.

Anand Sahu : Vikash..everybody is doing the same ..at least everybody feels so..but in which direction..let me explain you in a simple manner. Hundred workers of very different linguistic skills, religion, culture and ideologies are laying bricks to construct a wall with full honesty, enthusiasm and optimism. Tell me which worker will tell the wall being built is correct, as required and as per norms. Construction of wall will have noting correlated with culture and ideologies and religion of workers. To phir har baar last mein iska raag kyon alaapte hain HUM LOG.. we are discussing leadership, foresight and admin failures being the main coz of daily arising demands of separatism and reservations..and you are putting stress on culture, ideologies, Indians will work together with honesty, enthusiasm and optimism ..matlab pichle 60 years nahi kar rahe..ya mohit saab roj 12.00 noon ko so ke jagte hai aur mein rof faaltu hota hoon.

Vikash Kumar Sinha : Anand. last sixty years, Indians have concentrated more on I and my family [ though my caste (in the whole country, more prominent as a political plank after Mandal Commission) and my region(in some developed parts of the country) philosophies were there which were capitalized on well by the politicians and at times by antisocial elements..]The difference between India and "the most hated neighbor of India" has been that this difference of culture, religion and region has contributed to a democratic thought despite the divided attitude of people who considered the national unity despite their ideological differences.. we have been like a ball dropped on the slope of time..moving and gathering momentum.. We have fared well because of the survival of democracy.. (Other wise fundamentalist forces would have made us weak as they have done in our neighboring country) Now I see a difference of attitude in the new generation.. yet I see a lot of educated people going in for MNS and BJPs hardcore decade old philosophy.. Our education system makes us "honest parrots" and despite the rise in income and education levels, I see all Indians including me lacking in values and ethics..and this is why we pay to corrupt politicians and clerks in government offices to get our work done (In corruption index India has still been downgraded.. there has been a rise in corruption) We have been taught in our schools "mera desh mahan" though truck drivers also know "100 main 99 baimaan"---Take another scenario.. with how many neighbors, India is having good relations.. Going closer to USA or still trying to be closer to Russia.. at least I do not see where are we heading in our international diplomacy.If we see the current situation of India struggling with J&K, Northeast problems and Naxalism (find out the percentage of Indian region affected by separatist movements, believe me it is scary.. we are sitting on a satchel charge), we will find that it is not exactly admin failures that have contributed to such scenarios..these are the incognito behind a more destructive designs.. It is the more fundamental shift in the ideology of common man misguided by a few who do not want to see India united because it is in their interest of future to gain power.. Actually asking for a separate state is OK to some extent but again it will make a potential problem of future.. Politicians are trying to gain more power.. Tell me Bihar and Orissa were carved out of Bengal long back still the region remains backward.. why despite being separated from Bihar, Jharkhand is not doing well.. TRS sold its ideology to gain power in Andhra after winning a good number of seats previously..Still embryonic in terms of development of cohesive forces that bind the country, India is actually not doing well despite media hype..(I have cited these to make you realize that we r not doing “very well” despite our media hype, the difference in income and disparity is poised to grow and a youth in the rural undeveloped area is definitely going to fight for getting more facilities.. in fact he is the potential catch for people who want separatist movements) It is not the politicians or a failure of bureaucrats.. It has been the failure of Indians.. In democracy.. you get what you vote for.... If we do not wake up to these challenges now and do not see the problem in its entirety, we will definitely face difficulties..Actually the very strength of democracy (diversity of culture and region and religion) of our past is making our future bleak..Look, now because of underdevelopment, people are asking for a separate state and are being provoked by a few.. Once after they get the state and again the development doesn´t happen.. they will ask for a separate country.. you know why? Because they r misled by a few... those few they choose first didn´t deliver and then another few forced them to have a separate state.. and again if they do not deliver.. another few will fuel them to have a separate country.. It is not the failure of leadership.. it is not the admin failure.. It is we.. we greedy educated people knowingly or unknowingly force government to invest more on urban regions so that we have better life.. we all were selfish, still are (as I have quoted in my first line as well) and this is what we need to change.. we need to change ourselves.. the system will change by itself. The underlying problem is not the admin failure. The strength of India is its diversity which becomes a threat of we don’t understand it. We need more homogeneous society and that is where I supported Mohit and shared his idea of united India.. Can we bring an all inclusive solution and work on it (action is important.. I know my writing is not going to change anything)

Mohit Chauhan : Great thoughts Anand,Vikash,Nikhil,Nitin.I guess we all share one common idea at the end of the day !! One unified Country.Isnt' it ? The issue is that as Vikash rightly said,we are still are being misled by few politicos. It’s basic to understand that they are PROFESSIONALS and not novices. They know what works best for THEM.I am sorry to say but how many of us stick to our companies coz we just cant stop loving them..I am sure not many. Most of us including me prioritize their basics first;family,commerce,time..Even politicos do the same..Totally..Idealistic governance has ceased existence in our colleges and institutions, leave government.Vikash/Nitin - Remember the way we used to work for our college fests and all. What was the motive..We used to love our college like anything? I never did..I just loved the idea of contributing to whomever,peers,seniors,buddies..But guess that made us achieve great stuffs and is still keeping us live..Nitin has become entrepreneurial,Vikash is pursuing his dream,I still have that fire somewhere,intact..Why - 'coz we want to contribute, still..Issue is, politicos have different priorities..because after all they too are the common man origin who have come up the ladder and have surpassed many others in the race to stardom (!)Now it’s difficult to let go..This state issue - Mayawati knows that another term in UP is impossible for her party, thus separate state. Similarly for AP,WB,even Bihar,UA,NE..It’s all selfish exercise though in some cases it might prove out to be good, the end results are always disastrous..Ask merit hurts to tell people from other state that UA was where I spent best of my school breaks..and the territory that I love the most..But it was not a separate state then..I am just a conservative..I hate changes, more so when they are driven by selfish motives..Which truly is the case..

Life and Beyond !!!

I seriously don’t know when will I get regular at blogging. This time it’s been over 6 months I scribbled on this page. Wierdo!!!

It reminds me of BR Sharma Sir who probably is the only teacher who has left an indelible impression on my mind. Out of all his sudden spurts of wisdom, the one that has stuck with me was exclusively eloquated to me during a 0530 AM December 1998 winter morning one-on-one. I guess I was not able to focus on my goal or probably he saw me in some kind of’ dilemma I am not sure but it was roughly on the same lines and he was corollarily not in a position to teach due to last night’s high. I guess he just somehow saw it on my face like always and told me to come on in and sit. Then he just said,yeah tell me watz' troubling you and I just roughly told him all I could gather out of nonsensical stuffs going on in my mind regarding my career, life whatever. At the end of it he said – MOHIT,ALWAYS REMEMBER TO KEEP ATLEAST ONE ACTIVITY CONSTANT IN YOUR LIFE AT ANY GIVEN POINT OF TIME….ONE FIXED FOCAL POINT & YOUR ENTIRE LIFE WILL JUST AUTOMATICALLY ADJUST ITSELF IN THE SURROUNDING AXES ... For a minute I was just quiet, letting it sink deeper not 'coz I had understood all that it meant but coz I trusted his advice more than body else's. And since then I had been following that piece till the end of HBTI through the year of Job-quitting and preparation and it worked all the time. I wouldn’t divulge what was it that I made a constant as it would appear silly to most of you but it always worked perfectly for me. Somehow !!!

But then it all just went into disarray at MBA and later at job where the only measured constant was Entropy. Randomness of thoughts, routines, wants, ambitions, decisions and Life!!! There were days when I was so damn perfectionist in all that I did and now 6 years hence I just halfheartedly attempt at seeking perfection and then just let go. of it .Is it 'coz I have moved up & forth in life or is it because I have gained, what they call MATURITY. But I don’t think its maturity actually. The decisions that I am taking now, the advice I render now is not as involved as they were then. And if it is maturity only, then it has unfortunately given me a non-sensical trait of selectively reacting to things. It is self-restraining and hinders growth; of personality, of acumen and I am a living testimony. I might have grown professionally over the years and have gained ‘Education’ also but at the end of the day is that all just surfacial, non-satisfying illusionary experience. Infact I am sure many of the readers who know me personally would be surprised to know it, but two of the personality traits that have stuck with me in past 3 years are introvert and non-aggressive(read passive !) to the extremes. I mean that’s so weird. Those were always my antonyms. Guess that’s what they call maturity. Huh!!!

Anyways, targets for the week !!! One, mulling over the thing that could be my NEW constant now, second; Surviving through the Half marathon on Sunday and third; experiencing Mumbai trip as a change factor in life. Life is nice to those who treat it nicely.Ain't it? J Keep watching this space for more on it !!! Till then ,so long !!!

Elections Elections !!! Thou art' the flavor !!!

So, again the talk of the season is General Elections-2009!!! Elections that ideally should come in every 5 years, fortunately though! Over 1000 crore INR was spent on GE 2004 and average inflation till last week was around 5.25 %.Rest is mathematics. Yes indeed that figure is an underestimation as it is an official record figure and we all know how the records are generated. But that is not the crux of this discussion. The point I wanted to make was, are we as an educated section of the populace, acting as an active part of the process or are we a dormant specie in this herd-like 1 month long fanfare. Are we amongst those who have the will to change the system or are we those who just have an opine and no will no substance. Are we an Individual in practice.

Just a line of thought, don’t we check for the record of even a help we keep at our homes. If that is so, do we actually do enough check on the candidates we wana vote for. Do we go online and check for all the candidates who are canvassing in our constituency or we just vote for a party for it being the most vigorous/aggressive of all. Do we vote basis our research and not presumptions? Do we see merit in electing the right person.Thats my thought process? In the coming days you would come across campaigns/canvassings/melodramas/inflammatory speeches/slogans and every damn thing your senses can and cannot imagine but are you able to see through the maze and use your education and conscience as the decision making tool.Thats' critical!!!

This time, try and do every damn bit of research you wana do on all the candidates and then take a stand irrespective of party/caste/creed/celeb status. But in case you are not able to convince yourself to vote for any candidate just go out on the election date and use Section 49-0 which says that - a person can go to the polling booth, confirm his identity, get his finger marked and convey the presiding election officer that he doesn't want to vote anyone.Implications;if a candidate wins, say by 100 votes, and that particular ward has received "49-O" votes more than 100, then that polling will be cancelled and will have to be re-polled. Not only that, but the candidature of the contestants will be removed and they cannot contest the re-polling, since people had already expressed their decision on them. This would atleast bring fear into parties and hence look for genuine candidates for their parties for election.

The only message I wana communicate is that no matter what, this election, just go out and participate because this is the only way we can repay back to this beautiful sovereign democratic republic called India.

In case you need assistance on the election process/candidate profile etc, please find below a link on the election details. Kindly use such tools extensively.

http://www.indian-elections.com/election-schedule-09/

Lets do our bit this time.

Mohit

Run Delhi Run !!!

Run Delhi Run!!! And it did ! And that too with an elance, fervor. This time around I made sure that no alumni meet or any such excuse prohibit me from running. Surely I ran and so did 20000+ odd people from all cadres, class and upbringings. As the Airtel ad was yelling out during every commercial break, Remember the joy of Running, I enjoyed every bit of it. Not because I am a die hard fitness freak but to admit the least, I just wanted to tire myself, get exhausted, drenched, drained.Wanted to experience the physical exertion till the time it just overpowers every other form of fatigue; professional, psychological, moral.And it did, but not for long.100 odd minutes and life was back on routine. So much I wish that the fatigue stays with me,forever,wishful huh !!!

While running I was pondering over a couple of things which although do not matter much to me or are applicable to me, have indirect repercussions on my psyche. I was wondering whether if what we do comes back to us in this life only. I was wondering if I am actually no longer the person I once was, not even a shadow, blip. I was wondering if I need to just get back to my thinking ladder and give life one more shot and see if some things could be bettered, won over. Know what, I got my answer by the evening .Life has a strange way of taking vengeance. It waits for the prey, chooses the best weapon and then strikes on its morale, confidence with a deadly fervor and immediately makes a kill. In most of the cases it chooses your loved ones as the weapons. Probably in all cases.Mabe coz it knows that you are vulnerable to them or mabe coz it knows that in such cases your chances of recuperating are meagre.Whichever way, this is how it is.Strange, on your face and full of drama; all at the same time.Koi nahin, everybody has a right to Live and us as an individual have neither a say nor prowess to dictate terms. Not even to …anybody...

So, I just ran. And I still am running. Dunno towards the life or straight away from it. But running I am because that’s what keeps me charged and helps me lose track of wilderness in my mind. If I am static, the mind is not and the battle just begins from where I had left it which is unfortunate, torturing.

Anyways, tomorrow, rather today (its 0045 hrs damn it!) is a new day. There are challenges at my workplace too but probably I just can attribute them on somebody else (wishful again! Just wondering when I last did that!) Whichever way, that’s another thing which happens every day again just for the heck of it and I again am running, in some direction my goodness!!! Yawn !!! Chalo,gotta’ go.Long night ahead and winters and life have longer nights though the days are valued more than in summers.

Just to make a point – Evolution is the most important fact of life because if you don’t evolve with time you might just be taken for granted by those whom you take a bit too seriously!!!

Radio ke Virus and Meow 104.8

Whatever! I don't like the idea of not being called as a Male Chauvinist any more. I still am the same old Mocho who was just so very damn Chauvinist flag bearer to the very core of his inflated heart and sinking rationale. But what does it get to do with this post. Wait a minute.Oh of course; it has to do a lot with this post. This post is about my preferences; huh dirty minded; not sexual preferences damnn’t; my preference of Radio Stations. I mean ok, well, I am a perfect machoism personified substance but what does it gotta’ do with my liking MEOW 104.8 over any other frequency for that matter. Its just weird!

Talking about radio stations only, I just feel baffled and stupid hearing to the same songs over and again repeatedly till my nerves actually start defying the constraints of my brains and my ears cursing my lovely Swift for flaunting a 4 speaker music system. That’s why I like this channel; MEOW-104.8 or as Jaishree says - India's first 'm first Just for Women Radio station. Who is Jaishree???Oh ok, let me just take you through a small crash course of the same.

• Jaishree and Mandy: Hosts of Meow Zindagi, a breakfast talk show. However I always feel that Roshi-Jaishree combi was deadlier than this one. Alas!!! Roshi only does Color Therapy now.

• Seema :Morning Meow and Dial M for Meow .These are Priyanka’s fav sections as Seema plays oldies in these 2 shows

• Ramaa and Manisha:Meow Matinee and Mumma Meow resp. I have heard the talk shows a couple of times and found them to be really educative.

• Ginni: My favorite. RJ of Tu-Tu Meow-Meow which typically is an evening talk show in which both the sexes are allowed to call and chat. As she terms it to be a battle of sexes. It is conversant, intelligent and thought provoking. I find this lady a bit rude though but guess this is what steers the show well.

• Divya and Kiran Bedi:Top Cat .As the name suggests, a very innovative use of Radio as an Information and Awareness Media. Very cool show.

• Anil : The only male RJ of the station. Hosts again a talk show called Between the sheets which is in a way like Agony uncle for ladies. Its very interesting at times but depends.Dunno’…Indian audience u c.

In the nutshell I like the whole genesis of this station for the simple reason that it doesn’t rely on the same so called chartbusters being played on and on for hours for no particular reason. I actually am not a music buff at all and so get bored very easily. So its Meow for me.

Before I sign off, and also for the respite of guys who think I am a overt feminist now; huh;There are 4 other RJs whom I just luv to hear to for the plain ingenuity of content. These are “SUD” Sudarshan, “Khurafati” Nitin,”Radio ke Virus” Anant and Saurabh.

Happy Listening!!!Its Hot!!!

Delhi Rocks !!! Rein of Terror !!!

This time it was a black Saturday for Mehrauli ।

Target :: Again an overtly Democratized common man.

Reason :: To hit-bang on our national pride, our self confidence.

Ammunition :: Hatred,Jealousy.

Its probably been the blackest fortnight of my life.Never have I experienced the bout of emotions against terrorism , the way I was feeling this time. May be because this time I was a mere whisker off from the possibility of getting hit.But frankly speaking this is very unfortunate.Why does it always take a narrow escape for us to start appreciating life or to start hating the unnatural causes of death.Terrorism and extremism to name a few.Were we not facing such problems in Punjab and Kashmir for decades .Is it not something which is commonplace in Bihar and Jharkhand.Is it not a fear which millions of less fortunate BPLs face all the time. The fear of un-called-for Death.

Since past couple of weeks this particular thought has been crossing my mind like a whirlwind.Repatedly and every other impact greater than the last.What exactly are these guys trying to prove?What is it that they intend to achieve through such attacks? Do they wish to convey to us that they are some crusaders who want to bring a glorifying accolade to their organization/community or are they a part of the bunch which thinks that Indian democracy is too good and example of successful democracy than they can digest and live with.What exactly is the psyche? I mean planting so many explosives in the most crowded market place of National Capital needs very strong set of emotions and rationales. Nobody can just for the heck of it do it without being doubly sure of the very motive.I just don’t know.

On 13th September I was on my way back to Meerut.Got the news reg the blast in front of my office on my way only.By the time I reached home all the explosions had happened.I just was totally perturbed and wayward,not knowing whatz happening.Came out of my room to breath in fresh air when found this sleazy reptile gobbling up its prey.Could not help relate it with blasts.Is this not what is happening. every other day in the country.Are we, common man, not being fed to these bloody miscreants.Ain’t we just keeping our fingers crossed,praying that the next blast does not happen near our homes.But are we so nimble footed.I seriously don’t think so.I guess this is the high time we learn our lessons.This is the time we realize that life is not gonna’ be the same again and we need to be ultra cautious and attentive;proactive and generous.All at the same time.

I believe we all need to be tough and strong willed.We gotta prove our mettle to these bloody miscreants who seem to think that we Indians are morally impotent and democratically handicapped.This is the time to prove that democracy doesnot mean waiting for generating unanimous public opine.Its all about sculpting the public opine the way you think is righteous and correct.Its about manning Noah's ark towards the virtuos horizons.

So shall we !!! Shall we stop being अकेले पेड़ों का तूफ़ान !!!

हिन्दी हैं हम वतन है,हिन्दुस्तान हमारा !!! जय हिंद जय भारत !!!

Very Random me !!!

It doesn't happen quite often that I come out of a movie and feel intellectually evoked. Guess that's 'coz I don't happen to see intelligent cinema any more or plays for that matter. This Saturday I had this pleasant types feeling after watching ROCK ON!!! No, the movie is no provoker kinda’ stuff or like that. It just made me think. Think about a fact which normally doesn’t cross my mind v freq... I was just wondering if all of us actually are doing what we wanted to do in our resp lives. Are we doing something which is keeping us happy, ‘coz we always wanted to pursue it or are we just flowing with this torrent called Life? Its open ended!

The other day this wonderful lady called Gini on Meow 104.8 FM was discussing a similar topic in her show. I was surprised to learn that not even a damn single soul said confidently that he/she is doing something that makes him/her happy. It was damn thought-provoking, disturbing and surprising; all at the same time. I am just wondering if a majority of population actually is feeling the same syndrome that I am feeling just now. If that is the case then it absolutely is very unfortunate. As bad as it could get!!!

Ok, for that matter am I doing what I had dreamt of??? Well, I don’t think so. My dreams always had a vocation somewhere else. Probably in the quarters of Administrative Services but then leave it. But what is more important is whether if I am enjoying to the fullest whatever I am doing at present which is Banking.

Banking as such was never my type of sector, neither is it something I would put my heart totally into. Guess I am doing it just ‘coz I want to survive. And this is one reason I am not able to extract the best out of me. I am just doing whatever is sufficiently enough to keep me going. Trust me, the moment I will develop a sense of belongingness to this sector, I would be an impossible chase. But how much time its’ gonna’ take, whether it is gonna happen or not. All these questions are dwindling unanswered. Cool hai yaar.Chill!

In any case, just back from Book Fair. After a very very very long time got so much involved with books, my first love. It was just so comforting, soothing in the company of literature, fiction, science, philosophy and History. I wanted to buy so many of them but with my budget could get hold of only a couple of Hindi lit and likewiz.Guess this is one thing that makes me happy...HeHeHe…Looking forward to build on my own library some day. May be very soon ;-)

Gotta’ retire to bed. Monday blues are already gripping me. What crap…It is gonna’ be a tough Monday. So many questions after a bad month .Hello Up there …SOS !!! :-(

Life is all about the turns you take !!!

Life, as I see is all about the turns you take. I have entered into numerous serious arguments over this belief more than a couple of times. In most cases, the conflict was life is not made up of turns only. Its’ also about a contemplated beginning, a pre-decided destination and an infinitesimally long road. I somehow could never agree for the reason that my life in particular has been crafted basis the turns I took in my life or the turns I was forced to take during the course. I mean philosophically the two rationales may seem alike but practically they are altogether different.

If I may take an example out of my life only, then I started out as another nobody who propelled off with a dream of joining armed forces like several other nobodies of my age. Even prepared like hell for RIMC Examination but could not appear in the same as due to some postal strike or something my application form never reached their offices. Back to datum, I then committed my heart to Sainik School but the dream just lived out the life of a caterpillar. My run for IAS was wiped off by some uncontrolled personal issues in year ’00 and even the catch line of becoming the best Civil-ian (i.e. Civil Engg) in the country after having passed out from one of the best Engg Institutes was shown the reality mirror by one lovely corporate. I guess that was the day I took the last spontaneous decision of my life. Quitting two jobs within a span of 4 hours and return to home the very next day. That was probably the turn that I took because I had no faith in the road laid ahead for me by fate. Guess it has not been a decision that has gone way too haywire till date. Its’ not been a disaster at leastJ But post that day, I have never been able to gather strength to take decisions which are tough, hard hitting and trying. I have probably become a bit too over cautious. Guess that is ‘coz with maturity you start weighing stuffs and then decision making becomes an altogether different ball game. Although I don’t have any qualm or whatever but there are times when I actually miss my tensile strength to create a ripple in the envio.

Even today when I try to re-define the way I work, the biggest hindrance that comes is my loss of spontaneity, in terms of decisions in terms of actions. There are two traits in personality that I admire the most; one, to take a stand against the wind and two, to live upto the decision by giving it your best. I have been a person with these traits in the past and trust me, the outcomes might not be very rewarding in the beginning but the satisfaction and confidence you get is just immense.

I guess I have lost enough on personal and professional front due to losing track of all the turns my life needed and just kept on traveling aimlessly. Have recently started re-aligning everything. Just hope the milestones would have waited for me all the while. They ideally should have ‘coz they are my own milestones, of my own life Rite?

Mumbai !!!

Come Friday and I will once again be off to THE CITY – Mumbai. It is the only place in this whole world which gave me all new connotations of every damn thing I knew about life. In many cases it just so very radically changed the interpretations. Be it life, psyche, approach, attitude or even friendship, the facets Mumbai showed to me were surprisingly different from my pre-set notions. And I don’t regret or remorse the same. It was a real wonderful experience altogether. Just that I was never sure of the chords I was striking then and I am pretty sure now that I didn’t manage to strike a perfect harmony. I just lived in Mumbai, never became a part of it. I just never allowed it to percolate within and make a dent like a stalactite. I just took it in a stride and traveled past it like a nomad. Wonder if I am the only person to have felt the same way.

Whatsoever, day after I would again be in the City of Multiple Character and again I would be strolling past same old Vada-Pao shops and Local stations and Autowallahs and sundry...It would from outside seem as if everything is still the same since the day I left Mumbai, an year and half back but lots would be different. It would bring back to me certain reminiscences which are no longer a part of my life. It would also make me realize that life is hard on those who refuse to live by it dictatorial terms. But does that really matter. Not to me any more ‘coz to me life has been a good teacher if not anything else and I have always been a novel student.Ain’t I dear…:-)

So, here I come Mumbai. Back to the Pavilion.

Whirlwind !!!

It was a whirlwind kinda' day again. Day that kicked off with me playing my old poems while driving. Playing Poems? Ok, for those who barely know me still, I actually have this habit of recording my poems so that I can listen to them as and when I feel like. A feel good kicker exercise kinda’ stuff u c :-) So, I started the drive by playing my poems first and then "The Madhushala".It was after a pretty long time I was listening to the collection recorded by our bunch during HBTI Days. It still seemed so very wonderfully sweet and loving. Precisely the way it used to be during that period. All the time I was wondering as in how things which are instantaneous and provocative become reminiscences for life time and acts deliberately put in context fail to create a long lasting impression. Its’ just so very perplexing.

Anyways, I guess That is one of the zillions of facets of this Amphi T. called life. Uncertainties, though not always desired bring in the most heartfelt happiness whereas well contemplated decisions just simply fail to deliver. This probably goes with quite a few other things as well. Relationships for that matter. Whatever quantum of improbable devotion you confer upon a person, even a pre-hint of overt expectation would bring it down. And that too with a thump. A loud thump.So is trust.As long as you by default trust somebody,all is fine but the moment you start marking notches over trust levels, it just evaporates. Whizzzzz And Off !!!Not advisable at all but unavoidable at times. Whatever the case be,the life should not suffer. You have 2 options; One, learn to keep on accepting pre-decided presents that life offers to you and stay content or Two, revolt and tell life that I am ready to face the unexpected so don’t cringe, come on !!!

It indeed was a whirlwind kinda’ day.Random thoughts.Life indeed is like a strong current. Surrender to it and it will take you to the most testing waters. Then living is chilling !!!

Introspection !!!

Ok!!! Lets’ be very truthful! At least those who know me absolutely well. Did you ever in your lifetime feel or observe, me being unprofessional/indisciplined/casual. I mean ever during the period we were together and later. Did I ever give any body any chance to come back to me and say, “Hey Mohit better be disciplined and you are the only one who is indisciplined in the whole bunch”.Ok leave re-collecting, can you even imagine me at the receiving end of such volleys. Well, surprise!!! Here I am. Meet new me. All versionised me. Regenerative Avtaar of Manu!!! Me who is all of what is said above and more and the one who even acknowledges the same.

Well, of course I have gone through all this and more for a couple of times during past few days. No, it would be inapt to blame it on the other person ‘coz it was my attitude which led to such instances. I have just been less-cautious if not casual. Have been less focused if not indisciplined and I certainly have been stray if not unprofessional. But what does it actually transpires into. Does this mean that I gotta’ be more careful or it means that I gotta’ be more politically correct. Or mabe I don’t have motivation enough to meet my deliverables. Mabe I need a change or mabe I need a tectonic shift in my psyche, my demeanor, my life.

Well, I actually am going through testing waters as it would be a tough journey ahead to calibrate the mindsets my way. The only hope is that probably the only person to whom I wana’ justify my stand is a soundly reasonable one. It would just need me to put in my efforts at the right place and in front of presumably right people at times. Guess I need to learn a lot to survive. It indeed is a tough mad world out there. In any case, perfect hai boss. Lets’ face it and lets prove it …

My Musical Mystery !!!

Neither I am a person who has a pervasive sense of rhythm nor do I belong to an all knowing genre of music buffs. I just happen to possess a lovely car in which I love to be inside with music system on 'coz it allows me to be cut off from the real world and facilitates free flow of emotive vibes as well as self-criticism. It makes me feel good about things which actually are too minor to pay heed to and it also allows me to rebuke myself for many other things. Things which evolve from the unpredictable facets of life and people. Things which are outcome of my biggest weakness and earnest asset, my self-respect.Ok !!! Not again !!!

Well,I basically will stick to what I intend to.So I was contemplating about the kind of music I like to hear to while driving.Yah,so, for past couple of days I just kept on scribbling onto my notepad as in what all songs basically made me feel good about myself out of all the junk I listen to on the FM.My idea was to basically trace out some common link between the songs(some raga,taan,notes,buzz,etc.) so that I can delve deeper into my own psyche and eventually learn to understand my own self better.Frankly speaking,the results were just unassuming and wayward.I am really not sure as in what it all leads to but just so that one of the readers may help me with the common chord,I am posting my shortlist.I mean just try to render a shot at the common chord in these songs.Just as to rationalize my thought process.

• क्यूँ खोया खोया चाँद की ....
• दिल क्या करे ... - सलाम ऐ इश्क
• ये है मेरी कहानी ... - आतिफ असलम
• पल... - के.के।
• डूबा डूबा रहता हूँ ... - मोहित चौहान
• दीवाना ... सोनू निगम
• वो तो है अलबेला ... कभी हाँ कभी ना
• बादल पे पाँव है ... - चक दे
• ओ सनम ... - लकी अली
• आना मेरे प्यार को ... कभी हाँ कभी ना
• माएरी ... पलाश सेन
• पुरानी जींस ... अली हैदर
• यारों दोस्ती ... के . के .
• तारे ज़मीन पे...
• मेरा जहाँ .... - तारे जमीन पे
  

Well,it is a very absurd post again but admittedly one of the most intriguing.Just a random thought again !!!

Blind trust !!! Whoom and off it goes !!!

Just now back from a tiring day's outing to dunno’ where all…Had taken my cousin to National Science Museum and then had to drop another acquaintance at he airport. So, loads of driving and all. Amidst all this I somehow forgot about another important turn of my life. I mean I have this stupid kinda' tendency of attributing my commitments to events and further to the resp dates. Hmm..as for example, I had come out of my fragile cocoon of being a fragile soul on 18th April 03 after that stupid accident and like wise. So most of the things that I decide to work on have come out of certain incident or maybe accidents:-)

So, as I said,today,the 25th May '08 was one important day again. Well,frankly speaking this time around I even am not sure that who exactly is the person behind it 'coz I don't even know him/her. but 'coz of him/her only today I have again taken a stand to cut off one more tie from my life.And one close tie believe me.I know I had totally forgotten to be like this for quite some time but then I also have this feeler feel that nobody has any right to tramp upon my self-respect and blind-trust. If the other person does not appreciate even the nuisances of blind trust, here it goes! Whoommm!!! In to the litter!!! Escape !!!Neither for you,nor for me...

So here I am, with a clear cut stand and no second thoughts.Just with slight remorse. Only if…But guess it all is part and parcel of life !!!:-) Satya,Dev !!! remember u guys once telling me about friendship and its implications.Hai na...I still love it but this taken for granted thing was not there in it yaar !:-)Anyways...

Life is the only thing worth dying for !!! It indeed is !!!

In the memory of Jeetu ! "Main Jindgi ka saath....."

Tell me truly, have you ever felt a sense of absolute failure? A feeling of dismal surrender to fate and an inherent frustration of not been able to either revoke or change the course of life; yours or somebody else’s. Have you ever felt so lonely in your heart that nothing seems like invoking any kind of positive vibe inside you? Have you ever felt that only if you had respected the timelines and honored the commitments, somebody would have had atleast died peacefully?

Frankly admitting, this is all that is going within me since day before. Ever since the moment I realized that I have lost probably my strongest support system amongst friends and my fiercest morale booster. That I have lost a person who made me sing at the top of my voice at midnight and calmed me at the time of fury. That I will never again see the person who had traveled all the way to Roorkee from Kanpur just so that I challenge the odds (read schemes) and participate in a particular competition, without complaining even once. That I would no longer feel the warmth of a true well wisher who would hug me every day as if it was an entirely new chapter of life and we both need to spread as much love by the time dusk takes over. That I will hear no more from a person whose songs would creep inside one’s heart and render it all the more reason to beat, rhytmically.That I have lost my brother, my friend and my family. That I have lost Jeetu, no, infact Major Jitender Rathore, a guy who loved his country more than any damn thing in this world. More than his family,me,himself. And no, you are amiss if you think he was an army-man. He was a civilian, like you and me, just a bit more civilized.

I simply am not able to fathom that Jeetu is no more because the more I think of it, the more I feel deprived of life. The more I try to run away from his thoughts, the more I find him around, smiling at me, cheering my spirits up ,the way he was doing during our last conversation , exactly 2 weeks before he left. I was so damn happy to hear of him that I kept my phone on speaker as to let Priyanka listen to him and feel the flurry of emotive gestures. I was ecstatic. So was he, telling me about his life, his new to-be job and more than that his marriage been fixed. And then he talked about “SANKALP” something that though named by me was his dream. A dream of better India and even better Indians. A dream about changing the way WE live and a dream about setting new Ethical benchmarks. Both of us alongwith Manish,Lalchandra and Akhilesh had an elaborate discussion on this, the last time he had come down to Delhi in August and the task of writing the prologue was left to me. I had promised a timeline of 15 days then. Its been over 9 months and I am still to start with the same. Every time Jeetu would call me I bloody would tell him that I am not able to find time for it as it needs dedicated hours. I would do 100 odd things but would find no time to start with Jeetu’s dream project. My foot!!! Even during our last call, he requested me to formalize the same so that the same can be initiated and again I just procrastinated it. For the bloody nth time I did it.

And Lo ! today, here I am, still sitting on the idea when the person who had dreamt of it has left with the same in his eyes. I know this would have been one last desire of his during his last breaths and I was damn doing nothing. Or maybe he would have had left any hope. Whichever way, I am a defeated, humiliated and regretful soul. I have not been a good friend to him. the way he was to me. Trust me Jeetu, wherever you are, I would never do this again to anybody, I promise. Please forgive me one last time. I will make sure that your dream takes shape and marks a step towards making our country, your country a better place to live. Just forgive me one last time. Please. Please hug me one more time and make me sing – JAB ZERO DIYA MERE BHARAT NE!!! Please,I promise I will not be discordant and will sing along. Please.

Love you always.

Mocho !

Full Circles !!!

Life is the only thing worth dying for and it is also something that always comes full circle.It is a phenomenon that is like a Karmic Chakra,an individual just being one of the infinite spokes in it.He rubs onto the edges, wears in the process and decays by the end of it but ultimately completes the odyssey.That is how life has always been to me.Just that probably I have always fragmented it into smaller circles. Every circle representing a phase different from the other one in all respects. If my HBTI days were one phase, my SIMSR days were entirely incongruent.But these were the phases when I had such immense learnings that neither the journey felt like a long road to heavens nor the edges actually wore off.I simply underwent positive attrition.

Now why all this gyaan ! Because this blog marks the end of another phase in my life.The phase that started on 14thMay 2007 with me joining this bank I work for.So,here I declare that I have ultimately managed to survive in a financial corp after all the skepticism and fear. Now with that said,I also need to evaluate myself after this vital phase.Let me just give it a shot.

:-)

• This one year indeed exposed me to the most vital constituent of any corporate, "Character"
• I find myself been evolved into a smart worker if not a smart banker.
• Learnt that time and resource management is the key to success and networking is the first step stone to that.Also that perseverance leads to the best outcomes.
• The best of all, it gave me an opportunity to interact with the best guys in the industry.Immense peer learning.

:-(

• I find myself much more irresponsible than ever in handling the tasks assigned to me. It probably is due to the dearth of motivation.Trust me,self-motivation was never an issue for me.
• The work has made me even more finicky about the system. In any case one can simply not go on idolizing something where there is no progression as such.In my case the first 6 months were not evaluated on performance,because there wasn't any and the appraisal was as vague as a Moral Science Paper.
• My biggest strength of getting connected to the people and earning their faith has come down drastically. It is demanding damn lot of effort now.
• I am surprised that now I just hate competition.It is just so fierce and senseless at times.
• My biggest asset,my concentration is lost big time.In any case you just can’t expect the same in a fish market,do you?

I believe there are damn many things that need attention now and I will have to make sure that they meet the intended end but then so much is lost that regaining will take helluva' time.But the best thing about being short of choices is that you really don't have too many options to consider:-)Life indeed has come full circle.I feel I was born on yesterday.